Open Letters

It is a Confusing Thing, You Know?

Hey You,

You send these butterflies in my head, yeah they’ve reached my head. They are way too many in my stomach. It is a confusing thing, you know. Especially with the little things. The little things that make me smile, giddy and blush. (Thank God for make ups!) Those may just be little things but once I sum it up, they are very big deals for me. So big that I always think about you. There are circumstances that I am at the peak of my emotions but then the feelings are subsiding. Today we are okay, we talk and share stories. But the following day I see you, I do not know what is going on. We are like complete and total strangers. I do not know what page you are on. Was I left in the previous chapter? Or are you in the sequel? Are you now saving up some other girl in a faraway castle while I am here, stuck in a fairy tale before we can even reach the “Happily Ever After” part?

Are you still this prince charming? Oh and I almost forgot that you are really this prince charming whom every one adores! That’s why you talk to girls. Just like a prince charming, you get to ride on your horse and you run wild with their feelings and once these girls chased you, even though it is bumpy and rocky up there, dangerous with uneven slopes, stray animals keeping their eyes on these girls, despite everything, you left them. And now they do not know how to get down. Okay maybe that was really just me, no other girls. I know there where others but I am the only one who chased you and now I am having these hard time to go down and just be myself again. I am looking for my way down but then I am here on a cliff, on the verge of falling.

I know that you went down easily, you are an expert of this. I have a mixed up feeling on whether to get down or what. I am terribly afraid that you won’t be there, because you are on search for some other girl or you are just loving yourself and taking care of your wholesome image. I am puzzled to go down because we might not talk again. Complete strangers. And, I am contented to be up here, just me with my feelings and emotions. Time can heal the wounds and scratches that I got going up here. I will just go down, when I am fully fixed and prepared to face you again. I will find the right words to say and maybe I can help myself to be a little less awkward.

Words can make or break someone. But you, not talking to me may be the indication to detach my feelings. How can I detach when I know I am not fully attached? Detaching may be hard, it’ll leave a mark. Permanent and ugly ones. They might be there for a long time, worse it won’t be erased. This story is coming to its end a.k.a. My Assumptions. But I am honored for being a part of your life. Really. At least we are friends. It is better this way, you not knowing what I have felt for you. I will just bury my feelings deep on the ground, together with the little things that made me smile, giddy and blush. Well, I hope you are happy in search of your princess, someone that really gives you true happiness.

P.S. Do not talk to me being so cheesy and everything, then you will just turn back around like it was nothing! Because it is a confusing thing, you know!

xx

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